10 phrases only manipulative individuals use to gain control over others
-
There’s a fine line between influencing someone and manipulating them.
Manipulation, unlike influence, is about controlling others by hiding your
true mo...
2 hours ago
Hello Rob,
ReplyDeleteA student of mine lost his job a few weeks ago from a well known Boston financial services firm. He was shocked as were many of his co-workers as he had a great reputation for "getting the job done".
He has since been encouraged by his former superiors to apply for a higher level position in a different department where he considers himself "80% qualified".
He also feels that his colleague, who was also laid off a few months ago is more qualified and "needs the job more than him" as he is running out of severance. This colleague is also applying for the position.
What are your thought on A) how to deal with the perceived moral delemma and B) how to deal with his concern that he is not 100% qualified.
Prof. Bryan
First of all, I hope he isn’t taking it personally. We are in a terrible funk economically and won’t pull out of it for a while: Banks, Wall Street, Congress, the world’s credit situation, our indebtedness to China for Trillions; and … oh yea, I forgot … and our planet is melting. Anyone who loses a job today and takes it personally needs to rethink. A friend of mine many years ago at TI after being told to reduce the numbers of people at the facility went to his boss suggesting that it may be unfair to arbitrarily cut people to which his boss shifting his cigar from one corner of his mouth to the other glowered, “They’re not people they’re numbers … now cut ‘em!” You can’t take it personally.
ReplyDeleteQuestion, Part A on the matter of the student and his colleague: I’m not a licensed psychologist but if he’s married and I was his wife, I’d send him to one to have his head examined. Health and family come first; no moral dilemma. If he’s unmarried, consider still all those who care and can be affected as “family”; do yourself a disservice and you do them one too. In other words, self-sacrifice may hurt not only him but also all those around him who care. Acting on a sense of loyalty to one (colleague) may seem “selfless” nevertheless, his loyalty to the one over the many is to this consultant, selfish. Finally and equally as important is a question I have for him: Who’s going to lend him THEIR job if HIS severance starts to run out? No moral dilemma here.
Question, Part B: A few months ago I asked a client if he thought he could do his boss’s job. “ABSOLUTELY” he said. I asked on a scale of 1 to 10 and he said “8” - that he could do 80% of the job today and he’d have to bone up on the other 20%. I had a different perspective, Professor: This client was 100% qualified and in 80% of that job he would leave his competition in the dust.
One last point to keep in mind for your student: Every person has their own individual mix of talent, competencies, skills, knowledge-areas and more. How he or she represents this unique mix is his or her “Brand”. For your student to suggest that his colleague is more qualified than he, is like denouncing your Brand for another. What kind of business-sense would that make? You should caution your student if he wants to have any hope of winning an opportunity in this job market.
I hope this helps. Have him contact me; maybe I can lend a hand.